感谢老师的信-研究生英语作文

                  
坚持不懈, 定成学霸!

Keep learning, and you will be super!

“老炮”开讲

        学生碰上个奇葩老师并不难, 难的是一辈子碰上的都是奇葩老师, 不用说, 你也奇葩了。当然了，一个老师遇到个把奇葩学生也不难，难的是一生遇到的都是奇葩学生；奇葩老师和奇葩学生组成了一个奇葩群体，把整个世界都整“琵琶”了。

         如果你不是奇葩学生，遇到了一个非奇葩老师，他的/她的教诲让你受益的话，请在教师节这个特殊的日子，给他/她写一封感谢信。

        注：你一奇葩，就会奇葩地写成一封给奇葩老师的奇葩信。

老炮开讲

先看题目

Suppose today is Teachers’ Day. Write a letter in honor of your favorite teacher to

1) express your gratitude on the occasion, and

2) wish your teacher happy and successful in the future.

You should write about 100 words on ANSWER SHEET 2.

Do not sign your own name at the end of the letter. Use “Li Ming” instead.

Do not write your address. (10 points)

 

Dear teacher,

        Today is Teacher’s Day, I’m (1) writing this letter to express my honor for how I gratitude (2) to you.

        First, you are the most favorite (3) teacher that I never meet (4). I’m so honor (5) to meet you when I was a child. Second, although (6) I left our hometown for (7) three years ago, but (6) I still miss you so much. I’m truly hope (8) your life will be better and better, and I also wish you have an optimistic and healthy attitude for your future life (9). Lastly, do you have some free time (10)? I would like to express my gratitude to thanks (11) for your great help.

      If you have any personal time, please let me know it (12). I’m looking forward to your reply. Happy Teacher’s day (13) again!                                                                      Regards,

Li Ming

作文批改

       这篇作文共出现13处错误。

第一段中出现了2处错误。（1）语法错误：…Teacher’s Day, 与I’m… 是两个简单句，要分开，或用并列连词and链接，如果两句话意思紧凑，可以用分号（；）链接；因为这是两个完整的句子，用句号（.）分开即可；(2) 用词错误：gratitude是名词，不能当动词用，尽管英语中有些词可以词性互换；我想这个学生是想表达对老师的感激之情，一激动“感激”错了，把honor也搬出来了。

第二段的错误有9处：(3)比较级错误：favorite含有最高级的意思，之前不加most；(4)语法和思维方式的错误：学生的汉语思维是：我从来没有见过……，另外，这里要用现在完成时；(5)时态错误：把I’m改为I was；(6)语法错误：although和but不能同时用，去掉although或but；(7)介词错误：去掉for (8)动词错误：把’m去掉；(9)动词wish的错误，wish后面跟名词短语，如跟句子，必须是虚拟语气，与事实相反，表示愿望；还有attitude后面跟to或toward(s); (10)问句中some的错误，some用于邀请别人做什么的疑问句中，如，Would you like somecoffee?; (11)词汇重了，太想念三年没见的老师了，把gratitude和thanks都用上了，去掉to thanks或gratitude to都行；在这里学生想用最后两句表达的意思是：如果你有时间，我想当面感谢您对我的帮助。

第三段有2处错误：（12）let me know为固定搭配，不要it；(13)专有名词错误，这显然是个粗心错。

 

改完的文章

Dear Mr./Ms./Mrs. Wang,

    Today is Teachers’ Day. I am (1) writing to express my respect and gratitude (2) to you on this special occasion.

You are my favorite (3) teacher and the most admired person that I have ever known (4). I was so honored (5) to meet you when I was a child. I will never forget the first lesson you taught me, in which I learned how to be a gentleperson before achieving academic excellence. Thank you, my dear teacher, for what you have taught me. Although (6) I left our hometown three years ago (Although I have been away from our hometown for three years), I still miss you so much.

Wish you a healthy and happy life, and a successful and fruitful career (9). 

Regards,

Li Ming

【简评】

这是封感谢信，格式正确，有问候、文章主体和结尾。但也出现了不少错误，共13处，包括语法和词汇；想得多，但表达欠火候。文章做了一些改动，通顺流畅了。学生应提高的方面：词汇、语法和语言掌控能力。

 

老炮作文

Dear Mr./Ms./Mrs. Wang,

        Today, on this special occasion of Teachers’ Day, I am writing to extend my greetings and express my gratitude to you.

       You are the most caring, respected and admired person that I have ever known. I was lucky to have you as my first teacher when I began school. “Do what you would like to be done by others.” That is what you taught me in my first lesson. Your teaching has been a lighthouse for me since then. I would not be a versatile university student without your education. Although I have not seen you for ages, I can picture you teaching us in the classroom. Thank you for what you have taught me.

       Wish you a healthy and happy life, and a successful and fruitful career！ 

Best Regards,

                                                                                                                   Li Ming

【解析与分析】

本文是学生写给老师的感谢信，要求100词左右，较为简单，但记住：在写作中，把简单的复杂化，把复杂的简单化。这封信的要求是在Teachers’ Day，也就是今天，别忘了这个occasion，向your favorite teacher表示敬意，感谢老师，祝老师happy and successful in the future；在两个Don’t上不会出错，除非want to cheat。

信的开头最好加上称呼，这不会怀疑是“暗号”吧。

第一段就一句话，也是主题句，齐活了。

文章的主体是老炮的most caring, respected and admired person that老炮has ever known和感谢的内容（what）；老炮很lucky，一上学就遇上了非奇葩的好老师，先学会了做人。老师的教导就像大海里的灯塔，为老炮指明了方向（英语的修辞为暗喻）。如果没有当年老师的教导，就没有今天的老炮。老师，老炮想你啊! 您教学的样子历历在目。老师，给您跪谢了。

最后，老炮wishes his teacher a healthy and happy life, and a successful and fruitful career！致敬，李明。不能用老炮了，别被“逮着”。

注：我这个老炮不是你们想象的老炮。我人老，声音洪亮像火炮。此老炮非彼老炮。

 

  

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